Never Enough Time

I’ve retired from my day job. I should have plenty of time to do whatever I want, right?

So, how come I don’t?

I think back to when I was working, feeding the family and trying to hold the house together. I managed it. My house didn’t look like any you see in a magazine, because there were always things that hadn’t been put away, and dust accumulated far faster than I could wipe it away. But there was food, usually hot for supper, and I tried to keep the dirty dishes from piling up too deep in the kitchen sink.

In the evenings, I almost always multi-tasked by writing while watching tv. Which is not easy to do; you either miss what’s going on in the tv show because you’re concentrating on the story you’re writing, or you stop writing to follow the tv show. Knitting while watching tv is much easier, as long as the pattern isn’t too difficult. Sometimes, I did that.

On weekends, I ran errands and cleaned house. Seemed like I never had enough time to get everything done.

I don’t work 40 hours a week at a job anymore. I don’t have to spend 45 minutes driving to work every morning and 30 minutes driving home (don’t ask me, it must have been the traffic flow), or ride a bus for an hour each way every day. I should have plenty of time!

Hmm. Yeah. Guess what. I don’t.

The thing is, I dusted off a few hobbies I used to do long ago, added a couple hobbies I never had done before, and... the days are not long enough!

It doesn’t help that the errands have multiplied as well. Because I have diabetes, the doctor wants to see me every 6 months to see how I’m doing. To see how I’m doing, he has to have some lab work done. In Omaha, the lab was in the doctor’s office, so both could be done at the same time. Here in Florida, the medical labs are separate from the doctor’s office, so that’s 2 trips every half year. I have to see a cardiologist, who is not in the same building. I have to see an eye doctor twice a year. And because I’ve had kidney stones (thanks to the mineral-laden water one drinks in Florida), I’ve been seeing a urologist every 3-4 months.

Because I suffer from depression, I visit with a counselor once a week, and see a medications monitor once a month.

Not enough errands for you yet? I go to pick up prescriptions 3-4 times a month. Yeah, I’d get them all ‘synchronized’, except it seems like every couple of months, one of them gets changed. My husband has his prescriptions ‘synchronized’, but every single month, at least one of his ‘hasn’t come in yet.’ Why don’t they know they need to order it a day or 2 earlier so he doesn’t have to make a 2nd (or 3rd) trip?

And because I have diabetes, I’m supposed to exercise 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week.

My tiny business needs tending.

The bills need to be paid, which requires moving money around between credit unions.

The HOA insists we keep the lawn and landscaping in good shape.

The dog wants some attention.

The house still needs to be picked up and chores done from time to time. Thankfully, my husband does quite a bit of this.

I have one day a week assigned for each of my ‘major’ hobbies. (Sunday is my ‘clean office’ day, which is a never-ending battle in and of itself.) Most weeks, I find very little time to devote to hobbies. I try not to beat myself up over that, but... it does get to me.

Of course, it might help if I could get my body straightened out enough that I don’t sleep 12 hours a day. Or take 2-3 hours to ‘wake up’ after I do get up.

Well, now I’m just dreaming!

Failure!

Well, I’m late getting this written and posted. (Sigh.) What a bummer.

I actually tried to do some quick research on ‘tardiness’ for this thrown-together blog. Google returned lots of sites where I could get the definition, but I already know that. The few sites that weren’t for the definition were mostly about students who were habitually late, and a few were about business policies concerning tardiness. Not what I was looking for.

I was looking for clues about the reasons why people are late with projects. I thought maybe I could share some insights about why I am sometimes late getting a blog done on time. But that kind of site didn’t show up, or if it did, it was so far down on the list that I never got to it.

THIS week, I know why I’m late. Our household has become a mad-house.

Last weekend, we got another storage unit and started packing up and taking boxes of stuff that we’d been using the last several months. Any effort to maintain some semblance of a ‘daily schedule’ flew right out the window. My hubby was so worried we wouldn’t get things done that there were times when he got up at 5 am to pack. Having finally gotten our new po box number from the Florida post office, I’ve been trying to notify everybody of our immediate change of address, which made Hubby mad, because I wasn’t helping him pack and take stuff to storage. So no, I’m not done with my list of businesses and people to notify.

Today, Hubby dropped me off to drive home the rental truck. He is off at dospace for one last session on the laser printer. The moving men are supposed to arrive sometime around noon to load up the furniture and take it to storage for us. Then I can take the truck back.

Almost everything is packed. We will take the tv to storage in the morning. I have a laptop and e-reader to throw in my suitcase, and we’ll do one last load of wash tonight. (The washer and dryer are staying.) So, without him ranting about ‘never getting it all done’, I can take a break and do this blog, at least until the moving men show up. I have to be careful with what they take, because we have quite a bit of stuff that we are actually taking to Florida with us.

So, no big insights into tardiness. Only the insight that I do better when life has some semblance of a schedule. And eventually, once we get a new home and get settled, we will develop something that could possibly be called a schedule. I will be so relieved when that happens!

What’s coming next week? Hmmm. Hard to say. We are attending Icon in Iowa City this weekend, on our way to Florida, so I won’t have a lot of time for research. I keep hearing tidbits about ‘Planet 9’ - not that they’ve found it, only that it has to be there. I might put that off a bit longer, see if they finally do find it. Possibly a report on Icon; we haven’t been there for several years. Or maybe not, because once we get to Florida, there are lots of conventions of all types for us to attend.

I guess you’ll just have to come back and see what I write!

Rumors of My Death…

 …if you’ve heard any, have been premature and greatly exaggerated. I am alive, and (relatively) well, but life has been… complicated.

It all started getting messed up when my husband came home one day and said, “I’m going to retire.” Well, yes, eventually I expected he would, possibly even this year, so I didn’t think it was anything to worry about, because his 62^nd birthday was still 5 months away. And then, a few days later, he added, “I can apply for social security 3 months before I turn 62. Let’s get the house ready to go on the market.”

In a nutshell, that pretty much turned our world upside down.

We knew we had to remove a lot of the personal stuff from our home, so we packed our book collection, our art collection, our video collection… We hired some young helpers to put these heavy boxes in our storage unit. He packed up everything in his office except his computer. I packed or threw out a lot of stuff from my office until I ran out of time.

We had a vacation scheduled for most of May. The paperwork for retiring was signed, and the day husband flew down to Orlando for that vacation was his last day of work. We spent a couple days in the parks and visiting friends while he tried to get his head around his new status. We checked out a few houses that were for sale while we were down there, and started the process of getting pre-approved for a mortgage.

And then… that infamous ‘hurry up and wait’ segment settled in. For the past 3 weeks (and probably for at least another week), the 2 of us have been living in 1 room while all the rest of the house gets fixed up and painted. While we are in that room, the only computer we have access to is the laptop we had in Florida, which I perch on a folding chair while I sit in an easy chair. Is it any wonder my neck, shoulders and back almost constantly ache?

It doesn’t help that I was surprised by a rush editing job just before leaving Florida; the 4^th manuscript in a 5-book series. I got that one done and back to the publisher, but I’m wondering when #5 will appear in my mailbox.

At first, we spent a lot of time in that room, watching various tv shows. By now, we have opted to spend our mornings at dospace (If you live in Omaha and haven’t checked out dospace at 72^nd & Dodge, you should – dospace.com); several afternoons of the week we go to the gym and work out; and at least once a week, we go see a movie – or 3.

Being confined to 1 room is mind-numbing. Most of the time, I just can’t concentrate. Oh, and if you are waiting impatiently for me to add another episode to MacOnFireball.blogspot.com, don’t hold your breath. I will get back to it, but guess what? The notebook holding the original story got packed when I wasn’t looking. Actually, I found the notebook, but the 10-20 pages I had out, next to my desk-top computer, to be typed in and tweaked… also got packed, and has proven to be elusive.

Eventually, the work on the house will be done. Eventually, our Omaha house will sell. Eventually, we will buy a new house in central Florida (we’ve been told it takes a minimum of 6 weeks from bid acceptance to document signing/closing) and can get the household belongings shipped down there. But right now, as the days grind by at a snail’s pace, ‘eventually’ seems a terribly long time from now.

Let Me Check My Schedule

Do you have a schedule? I think most people have a schedule they more or less follow. I had one for the greater part of my working life. It got tweaked if I changed jobs or got a promotion, but it mostly looked something like:

Get up at a certain time in order to arrive at work on time

Have a lunch break

Go home and prepare/eat supper

Spend the evening on family activities, housework, hobbies and/or writing

Go to bed in order to get up in the morning.

Weekends - or whatever days off I had - did not follow this schedule, and often felt scattered, unfocused or even wasted. That did not mean I was ready to give up my time off, of course.

Now that I’m ‘retired’ from my day job, I am looking for the perfect schedule to follow. In the meantime, I have a rough schedule for when I’m at home: get up, breakfast & pills, write, lunch, housework, business, prepare & eat supper/take pills, tv & hobbies, take my last pill, extra time on the computer, go to bed.

Okay, it’s not that different from when I was working, but this schedule includes those pills, which are far more than a multi-vitamin, these days. It works most days, unless I can’t wake up, every joint aches and my brain doesn’t work. Weekends take more effort to remember those pills, because we usually have errands to run, extra chores, or go out for a movie.

Then we have vacations, when I might be away from home as much as a month, and mini-vacations where we go to a convention. Somehow, it becomes a major undertaking to remember those pills, see that I eat somewhat regularly and get some ‘me’ time to keep the stress level down. The less I can follow a schedule, the worse things get. I start sleeping more. I have trouble waking. I forget my pills or to watch my blood sugar.

And then I have a hard time recovering once I get home. It might take me several days to get myself organized and ‘on schedule’ again. Con-i-tis.

People are creatures of habit. I certainly am. Doesn’t mean I want to give up conventions or vacations.

What happens when you ‘fall off’ your schedule?

Post Convention

I apparently fall apart the day after a convention. I sleep until noon, or there-abouts, even though I know sleeping so long will make me feel crappy when I do get up. And sure enough, I get up with a splitting head-ache, a body that wants me to eat anything in sight (I can’t do that anymore), and a desire to mark the day a complete failure and crawl back into bed - which I’m pretty sure would not help.

Why do I do that? I’m not positive, but I’m thinking I am trying to make up to myself for spending 3 days at a convention. Don’t get me wrong; I LIKE conventions. I like costumes and shopping in the dealer’s room, attending panels. I even like giving panels, when the panels are of my choosing. Hospitality suites have become something of a no-no, because the convention’s finances often dictate that they are full of candy, chips and other things I should not be eating (no matter how much I want to), and few of the types of things I can eat without guilt. I’ve started taking my own fruits and vegetables to help me get through the weekend.

Still, much as I like conventions, they are 3 days spent in fairly close quarters with lots of people, when - as an introvert - I am only comfortable interacting with one or two at a time. [So if you see me at a convention, and you try to get my attention but can’t, it’s probably because in order to maintain my sanity, I ignore everybody but the one I’m talking to, or the item I’m looking at.] Even though I take breaks during those 3 days to ‘hide’ in our room (as my hubby says), I am still worn out after the con.

Just to complicate things, I also spend those 3 days trying to semi-keep up with my extrovert hubby, as well as take care of my own things. When will he need to get into costume and have his makeup applied? And how can we fit that around my schedule of panels? Inevitably, when I have a break and am looking for a late lunch, he’s already eaten (probably with friends) and suggests I go check out the Hospitality Suite - where all those no-nos are. The same can be said for supper, a lot of times. By the time I get home from the con, my meds have been skipped more than they’ve been taken (because I need to take them with food).

So. That all gives me some ideas on how to hopefully avoid this Monday-morning reaction to conventions. First, get up at a decent time and try to treat it as a normal day; if anybody is at home with me, it won’t be more than the younger son and the dog, and they tend to leave me alone; take a short nap later if I’m still tired. Second, take charge of my own well-being at a con. If hubby has already eaten, or isn’t ready to eat, I’m perfectly capable of going to a restaurant myself. I’m a grown woman, and this inability to cope punishes me. Not eating regularly and not taking my meds regularly threaten my health. Not getting up at a decent time deprives me of that day’s writing time.

I deserve better than that. Right?

Picking Up the Pace

A couple days ago, I was reading the first episode of a new newsletter when the author said some things that really made me stop and think. She was speaking, at first, of a new author who had made a name for himself by publishing something like 20 books in 3 years, plus one or two more he co-wrote with someone. She went on to say he apparently writes 2,000 words an hour, 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. She compared that to the 1,000 words an hour that she writes.

I was stunned.

I'm usually happy if I manage to get 1,000 words written in a DAY.

Well, it seems pretty obvious to me that I am not applying myself hard enough to this endeavor. My days have become chopped up into 15 minute increments as I try to get housework done as well as some writing.

I have spent today (Sunday), trying to figure out how to rearrange my days to let me get more done, and what might be a reasonable goal for any given week. I go through this process once or twice a year, so this is nothing new. Should I write in the morning or early afternoon? I'm not at my best in the mornings, but errands seem to get done in the afternoons. And no matter what time slot I choose for writing, the dog will still want some kind of attention every hour.

I have chosen a goal that will make me pick up the pace, but I think I can do it. Probably not right away, because I'm fighting a sinus infection - again. In a month or, when that goal has become 'normal', I'll set the bar a little higher, make myself kick it up another notch.

But I don't see myself ever writing 10 hours a day. That writer had a tread-mill desk. I have a gym membership, which I try very hard to use 3 times a week. It provides a change of scenery as well as some exercise.

My first goal is to aim for 15,000 words a week, by working 3 hours a day, 5 days out of the week. Wish me luck!

Conquest 2013

On our way home from Florida, Hubby and I paused in Kansas City to attend Conquest. Hubby would participate in 3 panels. I also had 3 panels, plus I had a time set aside for a reading and autograph session!

I didn't do as well with those panels as I'd hoped I would. I thought I was ready, but my shyness asserted itself; I gave short answers, I didn't insert my 2 cents if it meant interrupting, and on one panel in particular, I found myself unable to invent wild tales at a second's notice. Yes, I'm a writer, and I do spin wild tales, but they don't come to me at the snap of a finger.

As a panelist, I need to 'grow', but at least I didn't completely freeze, so that's a point in my favor.

I didn't get to any of the parties on Friday night, so I made an effort to make the rounds on Saturday night. I didn't expect to be the life of any party, I just wanted to find a drink (soda) and join in a little conversation with - well, anybody. And then move on to another party/conversation. Dip my toe in, you might say, rather than hide in my room. My introverted self kept me from spending more than a few minutes in any one party, so it didn't take me long before I got to scurry back to my room. And I survived! So next con, I'll work on spending a few more minutes at the parties.

My reading was scheduled for 10 AM on Sunday. What few people were up that early chose to attend a different panel, so the only ones there were me, Hubby and the other author sharing that time slot. I did do my reading, for the practice, and Hubby gave me some pointers later. When Dennis did his reading, I realized I had read at least one of his books, probably two of them, possibly as many as three! So that was a nice discovery! And I knew better than to be upset by the poor turn-out. I was happy to be ON the schedule, happy for the opportunity to practice.

All in all, Conquest was a good experience for an author taking her first few steps to market herself and her work.

Planning Your Plan

When I was still working a day job, I managed to get some writing done during (most) lunch hours, and in the evenings, after supper, while the TV nattered in my ear with whatever show my husband and I was watching. I didn’t really plan when I write, I simply wrote in whatever time slots I could.

Then I retired. You’d think I’d get a LOT of writing done, right? Now I had entire days I could devote to it!

It didn’t happen like that. I’m not sure exactly what happened when, but somehow I seem to have less time for writing than I had when I was working full time.

Once I retired, I expected myself to keep the house a little cleaner, to spend a little longer than half an hour to put supper together. Planning our vacations became my chore, as did income taxes, stocks, and any household errands that came along. I was supposed to go the gym several times a week. And then a long-time friend and I started MoonPhaze Publishing.

Last week I considered how frustrating my ‘To Do’ list had become. The chores assigned to each day had no inkling how long that chore might take me to address it. Some days, just cleaning out my email took 2 ½ hours, yet this chore was jumbled together with 6 other similar chores in a 1 hr time slot.

I studied my list and realized the whole thing was like that; In a 1-hour time slot for MoonPhaze, I had at least 6 chores listed, and the same for research, travel planning, ect. A hard day at the gym might take 2 – 3 hours, while a soft day might only take the 1 hour I had allotted.

No wonder I was so frustrated!

I rearranged my list. I divided my chores into 6 basic ‘types’, and slotted one day a week for each ‘type’. (The 7^th day is for ME!) MoonPhaze, research, errands all have their own day of the week for me to concentrate on them. Some things, like the gym, cooking supper and doing the dishes are still listed daily, of course.

And when do I concentrate on writing? In the evenings, after supper, while the TV natters in my ear. After all these years, that’s the time slot my brain is used to working with.

Science Fiction Soap Opera Serial

I’ve been getting encouragement to serialize one of my stories on the internet. This is a use of the internet that I’ve been watching with interest, but uncertain if I should try my hand at it. With the encouragement I mentioned, I have decided to dive in.

In the last few years, I’ve heard of authors who wrote each installment of their serial moments before they were due to post that installment. That was part of what scared me about this process; I know perfectly well my first draft is NOT ready to be read by anybody. I expect At Least 3 rewrites before it might be suitable to be seen.

Once I realized that, I looked through what stories I had, either ‘done’ or nearly done, to decide which one I would serialize: No, those are all shorts; that’s a long short, but not long enough; this one is long enough, and done, but is currently out looking for a home. Hmmmm.

It’s surprising how few novel length works I have finished (1). I have 2 or 3 others ‘in the works’, meaning about half of the rough draft is done. And then I remembered Mac.

I have said I would probably never publish Mac. I have also said that when I work on Mac’s story, I get sucked in so deeply, I can’t get any work done on anything else. But the truth is that “Mac, Book 1” is mostly done, except for a few highly emotional scenes at the end that I simply didn’t feel capable of writing a decade ago when I last worked on it. Since then, I have roughed the first 100 pages of “Mac, Book 2” and the first 25 pages of “Mac, Book 3”. So, I know where Mac is headed, and apparently, I don’t HAVE to spend months and months at a time enmeshed in Mac’s problems.

For the last couple weeks, I have been working on preparing the story into ‘bite-sized’ sections. I have also continued to rewrite some shorts and work on another novel. It seems Mac has learned to share my attention.

So, “Mac, Book 1” will start being serialized on Tuesday, 1January2013. I am setting it up on Blogspot, and will make a Grand Announcement on New Year’s Day, so watch for it. I am trying for installments of about 1,000 to 1,200 words, and I will post one each Tuesday. If people get engrossed in Mac’s antics and don’t want to wait an entire week for the next section, I will post a price for the next section to be posted early, probably about $10. I am not proposing that 1 person must send me the full amount; the readers could use the comments section to alert each other to how much they are chipping in. As soon as I receive the payment, I will post the next section.

I think you’ll like Mac. She’s a lot of fun. Or a constant irritant. And sometimes both.

Necronomicon

This post was actually written on Oct 28, 2012, but I didn't have access to the internet to get it posted.

My husband and I have been exploring some Florida conventions these last few years, and particularly this year. This weekend, we have been at Necronomicon, a 31-year-old sf convention held in Tampa/St Petersburg.

I like this con! Even though there are apparently no ‘big publishers’ in attendance, or even any big book sellers, this con is strongly centered on books. There are a number of small presses and self-published authors here, eager to share whatever knowledge they have gleaned with others. So there are plenty of panels that concentrate on writing, contracts and so on. Even though these panels might be touching on subjects that I may have heard about at many other conventions over the years, I am hearing them discussed by authors I haven’t already heard a dozen times. And publishing is in such flux right now, it is good to get information from as many sources as you can.

Many of the panelists here also have some sort of science background, so there are panels on science subjects also. I have always like science, but I seldom seem to see science panels at the midwest conventions I usually attend. These are not ‘classes’ like one would take in school, but discussions on a specific topic that sometimes wander off topic, sometimes get a bit silly, but they are entertaining and also a call to a person’s curiosity. Certainly they have called to mine.

Now, I don’t mean to imply that this is all that is happening at Necronomicon. Absolutely not. There are several rooms devoted to gaming, both tabletop and computer, a video room, dealer’s room and art show... . A concert on Saturday night preceded the costume call. And the costumes run the gamut from D&D characters to anime, Dr Who, Joker & Harlequin, Poison Ivy, steampunk, space armor, Chathulu - a wonderful pantheon of imagination and craftsmanship!

I’m going to give some serious thought to coming back next year.

When Balls Drop

With four of my stories available electronically through Smashwords, I decided it was definitely time to spend more of my time marketing. The problem was, I wasn’t sure how to market, plus anything that put me out in front of people, blowing my own horn, was going to be outside my comfort zone. That was why I had joined Toastmasters for 2 years, to get more comfortable speaking in front of others.

If I had to do it, I had to do it. There was no getting around that. I began looking at the conventions I planned to attend this year, and inquired if I might do a reading and possibly be included on a panel or two. I did get to do a reading at a small convention about an hour down the road in the spring, and that turned out well.

This year, we were attending several conventions that were either quite a distance from our home, or new to us, or both. They already seemed to have a full array of panelists and readers, so I attended purely as a fan, handing out flyers to anyone who seemed interested.

Then an organization I belong to that provides mutual support among its author members, wrangled a spot at the World Science Fiction Convention for its members to do a ‘multi-reading’. Instead of one author doing one reading, this organization takes one time slot – in this case, 75 minutes – and schedules several of its members to do short readings.

What an opportunity! I was on staff for the world convention, so I was definitely going to be there! I was one of the first to contact the organizer to state my interest in participating. After a couple days, she emailed back to say I needed to fill out the questionnaire. I was new at this, I didn’t know if the questionnaire was needed for the author’s organization or the convention, so I asked her where I would find the questionnaire I needed to complete.

Here’s where this particular ball got dropped. I forgot I was waiting for an answer. She forgot also. By the time one of us remembered, she had the entire time slot filled. I missed out on this wonderful opportunity.

Oh, well. These things happen. I suspect the trick is, when you drop a ball of opportunity, that you look for more of them, and start picking them up. So, here I am, looking for places to speak, to read, to … market.

A Writer's Work is Never Done

I’ve talked about my To Do list before. Yeah, yeah, it’s pages long, in part because I have things on it that won’t come due until 2016, when I have a reminder that that’s about as long as we can expect the ‘new’ dishwasher to last. No, it’s not 9-11 pages of things for me to do today. I try to keep the chores for any one day down to a page.

I was looking at some of the chores that had somehow all cropped up on today’s date. Not the housework, not the personal chores, but the ones related (however slightly) to writing. Things like writing this blog, checking out several websites in search of tidbits to improve my writing, reading other people’s blogs about writing and leaving comments, looking for writing seminars, checking out some softwares that others have suggested I try, researching markets, sending out short stories, researching agents and composing queries .… It doesn’t even count actually writing.

Some of those chores I actually did tackle today. Some I put off for another day. I had enough of them all land on today that I could have kept busy for a full 24 hours, if I’d wanted. But I wouldn’t have gotten any actual writing done. And the best part of writing is the writing.

Working at home – and particularly writing – is a delicate balancing act. If you spend all your time writing, there’s no way to know if you are actually any good. If you spend all your time doing the other stuff, you never get anything written. Either way, nobody gets to read your stories.

Also, as a writer, you are supposed to be reading whatever you can get your hands on. This gives your imagination ideas to work with, introduces you to new styles and voices. Lots of reading, in fact, taught me quite a bit about sentence structure, punctuation and other facets of writing. Alas, ‘reading’ is not on my To Do list.

I think I need to fix that.

Best Use of Time

I always run out of time before I reach the end of my daily to do list. Part of the problem is because I don’t really estimate how long it will take to do any particular chore. So if you look at my to do list, it seems like I’m supposed to spend 5 minutes on any one chore. Who can get anything done in 5 minutes?

I don’t estimate because I know from past experience that I have no idea how long it will take to get anything done. Cleaning out my mailbox? Anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours or more. Write a blog? It might take me half an hour just to figure out what to write about. And if I’m trying to do something that I haven’t really done before – like figure out how to record and edit a short video, or how to use a new software to create a website – that might take days, or even weeks.

So every evening, before I go to bed, I take a quick look at what’s on the agenda for the next day. If the list is more than a page long, then I try to pare it down. Can some of those items be put off for a day or two, a week? Well, eventually I’ll get to them.

Unfortunately, there are some things that I really should not put off, like feeding the family and doing a bit of housework, taking care of myself. Writing. Submitting. Marketing. I try to get a little of all of that done each day, but it isn’t easy. I just have to figure out how to best make use of my time.

To Do Lists

Do you have a To Do list?

Scratch that. Most everybody has one, but some people keep theirs in their head. Others - like me - know from experience that some things will ‘disappear’ and be forgotten if I keep my list in my head, so they go for something a little more tangible, like a grocery list.

My To Do list is on my computer. It’s the file I open first in the morning, and one of the last I close in the evening. It is currently 9 pages long. There have been times when it was 12 pages long, so I must be making progress, right?

Oh, not really. It’s time for my quarterly addition of tasks for another quarter. Once I’ve done that, it’ll be 11 pages, at least.

Some people think a list that long must be depressing. Some days it is, but I’m prone to depression. But I think of this list as a guideline. And at the end of each day, when I remove the items I’ve crossed off for that day, and transfer them to my Journal document, it serves as a reminder of what I’ve accomplished.

How could I possibly have a list that long? A lot of the ‘chores’ are repeating, and need to be done every day, or every week. And it covers every aspect of my life.  I list all my medications, and cross them off as I take them. I break down which room to clean which day of the week, and even that is broken into separate chores, like vacuum, clean windows, and so on. I might not get all those separate chores done each week, but I get some of them. Otherwise, I go into that room and am overwhelmed, wondering where to start. I keep track of which writing project to work on which day. (I typically have 2 I’m working on at a time; a rough draft and a rewrite.)

That list also includes doctor appointments, errands I need to run, projects for MoonPhaze, projects for my own marketing, projects for various organizations that I’ve volunteered to do....

I even have a reminder on there that we’ll probably need a new dishwasher in 2016.

Okay, so I have a long list. It’s long because I don’t want to forget anything, even the things I don’t really want to do. It’s how I keep myself organized. Sort of. Sometimes I have to put something off for a day because I underestimated how long I would need for something else. Like this blog post, which was supposed to be written yesterday.

No, it’s not perfect. But it’s mine.

Making a Schedule

About a year ago - approximately a year after I retired - I found myself floundering through the days, somehow unable to get much done. I checked in with a mental health professional, looking for clues to what the problem could be. “I just can’t seem to work out a schedule and stick to it,” I heard myself tell her.

“So what?” she responded. “You’ve had to follow a schedule your entire working life, and before that, when you were in school, right? You’re retired now. Throw your ‘To Do’ list away and relax. That’s what retirement’s for. To do what you want to do.” Then our hour was up, and I left.

I tried to follow those instructions. No, I didn’t throw out the ‘to do’ list, because I’m a planner, but I became a lot more comfortable with putting off until tomorrow what was originally on last week’s list. I didn’t set my alarm clock to get me up, I didn’t necessarily look at the clock except to see if it was time to start supper for the family.

How was I doing after a year of ‘relaxing’? Umm, not so good. My To Do list was just as long as ever (but that’s to be expected, because almost everything on it gets repeated on some kind of cycle - you can’t clean the oven and never have to clean it again), I was sleeping up to 12 hours a day, and had no energy when I did manage to crawl out of bed. I would vegetate in front of the tv for hours and then wonder what I had watched. This was not my idea of fun.

I had planned to start my ‘new career’ of writing when I retired, and I wasn’t making much progress. Hubby was worried that I was ‘just waiting to die’. No, thank you!

So I checked with my doctor, who sent me for a sleep study. When that didn’t show anything, he had a vampire drain my blood (okay, the technician didn’t take it ALL, but it seemed like she might), and I should have the results from that battery of tests next week. Meanwhile, I revamped my To Do list ... again.

Yes, I am back to a schedule. What happened to ‘relaxing’? I found unending relaxation to be ... boring. Not to mention not getting anything done, and possibly threatening my health. Anyway, there are lots of professional writers who say, “Write every day and at the same time every day.” Sounds like ‘scheduling’ to me. And who am I to argue that something that works for that many professional writers won’t work for me?

So, as I start my third year of retirement, let’s hope I’m on the right path this time. I think I am. Coming up with a schedule I could live with and not get too uptight about has already got me feeling better.

PS - I tried the new schedule today, and instead of finishing 200 or 300 words, I wrote 1,400 words! Yippee!