Last week
I told you about a story that hadn't satisfied me because the writing style was
too old and it left far too many questions unanswered. The second story did not
disappoint as far as writing style, but it still left too many questions
unanswered.
Story 2
takes place in a world populated by various mythical creatures, some familiar
to this reader, others not so much. On that world is a land populated by
centaurs. The centaurs are of two types. The High Ones I see as the nobility of
the country. Their strain is older and they have a touch of magic in their
blood. But they mix freely with the commoners; the current king has married a
commoner, and they have three children. Apparently, the High Ones' magic flows
through the generations undiluted, which is just a little boggling to the
science side of my mind, but I beat my disbelief into submission. I did the
same for the question of if the High Ones are an older strain and magic flows
through them undiluted through the generations, where did the commoners come
from?
The
country is about to be plunged into war. The king must lead his troops, which
leaves his wife to take on the responsibility of supervising the protection of
the palace. The queen is uncertain, having no background in strategy or
warfare. This was something I could get into; a character who had to learn to
use skills she didn't necessarily have. I settled in to see how she did at it.
The army
marched off to the east. There were some troubling raids on the north edge,
which kept the remaining troops busy. Then everything goes wrong, magic kills
all the High Ones, the palace is overrun, and the queen barely gets away with a
handful of followers to hide from their enemies until they can exact justice.
End of
story.
I just
about fell off my seat.
I felt
somebody had just read me chapter one and then thrown the book away. I had
prepared to watch the queen learn and work and become the new leader of her
people, but instead, all I got was the circumstances that would put her
on that path. She never actually followed the path.
To me,
this is like telling the story of Sleeping Beauty, and ending it when SB
succumbs to the spell that puts her to sleep. Incomplete!
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