Learning Patience While Healing

Oof! This has been a bad year for me, health-wise. I had 2 stays in the hospital, one for 9 days in July, and the other for 7 days in September. Then I took a fall in a local mall parking lot at the end of October that resulted in 6 broken ribs. I’m looking at 6 weeks while those heal.

Enough already! I am ready to be well!

Of course, things don’t work like that. The body takes the time it needs to heal. And when the time comes that your brain is ready to get back to doing things, but your body isn’t done healing, guess which one wins the argument.

It wasn’t so bad when I was in the hospital. The first half of my stay, I was too sick to do much but eat when my meals arrived and sleep. When I did reach the point where I felt like doing things, I never thought to have my hubby bring my laptop to me because I was sure I was going to be discharged any minute! And when it didn’t happen that day, I was sure it would happen the next, so I’d find some mind-numbing shows on the tv, and think about all I would do once I got home.

But cracked ribs are a little different. You get to be at home; you just have to be careful not to aggravate your damaged bones. And get plenty of rest. The ache of my ribs made me extra tired. I found myself sleeping 9-10 hours at night and taking a nap in the afternoon. And maybe one in the morning. It left me little time to get anything done.

Each day, I would stare at my To Do List and cross off those things I did manage to do; take my morning pills, check my blood sugar, check how my Amazon Ads are doing, open the daily snail mail, brush my hair and teeth, take my evening pills… small stuff that had to get done. And each day I would gather up all the things I didn’t manage to do that day and shove them off until the next day. Things like write my family letter that usually gets sent out every 2^nd month, write my weekly newsletter, write my weekly blog, format the next manuscript waiting to be published, ride my stationary bike for some exercise, and so on.

The first couple of weeks after my fall, I had plenty of pain to remind me why I was sleeping so much. “This isn’t forever,” I told myself, and so I wouldn’t beat myself up about all that I wasn’t getting done. But as the pain subsided – and by now, it’s just a gentle ache in my ribs to remind me to take an afternoon nap – then I find myself impatient to start doing all those things I’ve been putting off. To ignore the ache and keep working.

I could do that. Some days I have done that. However, if I choose not to take a nap, then I am extra tired extra early that evening, and I sleep even longer that night.

I have to learn to be patient. It is no good beating myself up over my need for extra sleep. That just makes me depressed, and I’m already fighting chronic depression, so I don’t need any more of it. This won’t last forever. By mid-December, my ribs will be fully healed. That’s only a month away.

Thankfully, this past week has afforded me the opportunity to get some writing done; the family letter, this week’s newsletter, this blog, and even a couple thousand words on my current Work In Progress. Although that story has passed 10K words, so I’m not sure it truly qualifies as a short story anymore, but we’ll see how long it gets. However, that time for writing is obtained by being away from our home for the day, so I can’t get an afternoon nap. Here’s hoping that these days give me a little boost in stamina for getting through a day without a nap. That would be nice.

In the meantime, I must be patient. Being impatient doesn’t get me anywhere.